Unraveling the Personality Life

So much of my journey in realizing the mistakes I made on my path toward happiness, real and meaningful happiness...has meant I needed to take certain steps in order to become able to fathom the conclusions I've alluded to here in this blog.

I've touched on what my relationships were like in the past, but never got specific.
In both of the long term Lesbian relationships I pursued...we were at the point where we considered ourselves married to one another. Being where I am today it is apparent to me how we truly were polarized in this desire. (for more on polarization, see my previous entries concerning magnetism between opposite sex partners).

I could not, for the life of me, figure out why my relationships with my lesbian partners always seemed to be lacking that certain intimacy I wished to achieve.
To be more specific, I believe in Tantra as a form of sacred sexuality.

I had wanted to achieve the state of enlightened being, wherein two partners find union with God, in my female on female relationships. Try as I may to achieve sacred relationship though homosexual lovers there was always some sort of 'miss of the mark'. I now realize that the problem was that we were like two polarized magnets who could push against eachother, but could not merge (i.e. form a lasting union of the soul).

I've since experienced the awakening of my glands through Tantric practice with a male partner and the great bliss and oneness with God is unparalleled to any other experience of my life. I hope to further this practice as I feel it is enabling my spiritual life to unfold in a supremely orderly fashion.

Hopefully someone else may benefit from my experience in coming to terms with the truth of sexuality as I have found self evident.