I will admit there was one lesbian like incident when I was about 8 years old where I experimented with a girl. She was my neighbor. I didn't know what I had done. I simply thought I was playing, but I did, in fact, cross a boundary with her. This violation permanently interrupted our friendship and made her extremely uncomfortable around me. At that point I concluded that these interactions must be avoided between my "girl-friends" because I realized then that the experience was detrimental. I wish I had understood this as profound wisdom at that point; however, I found myself positioned in yet another "confusing" predicament that would mislead me as a teenager. Again, I was not consciously attracted to this friend; however, at that time, my friend was very consciously attracted to me. My natural instinct (I will explore the nature of instinct later) was that I must avoid her. I found myself coming up with lies as to why she could not sleep over. I made my Dad out to be the reason that I would not spend time with her, when in fact it was my own uncomfortableness. This friend, did not relent however. She continued to pursue me aggressively. She made me tapes of love songs that made me feel guilty for lying to her. She convinced me to come to her house and talk to her. She used a back door approach to disassemble my objections to homosexuality. She succeeded in changing my position against the condition of homosexuality and convinced me that "Love is just Love" and that "love" defied gender definitions. This was the point where my powers of discernment and discretion were breached and the philosophy of "broad acceptance" was adopted. It does not surprise me that I was so easily persuaded, after all... who was I to tell her that "love was not just love"? I was 15 years old.
Does any of this sound familiar?
No comments:
Post a Comment
I'm open to comments and will try to reply to them all. I will not however allow the message of this blog to be curtailed by the commentary.